(Now this is where I list all the LH events that have poked small little holes in the feeble wall holding my life together. Suddenly, you notice the water is above your knees and you’re asking yourself, “When did this happen?”)
I work a 40-hour a week job. Of course, this rarely means 40 hours. I spent a short time in Nashville when my mother was sick. She’s doing very well now, PG. My husband is in school and that puts a funny twist on things. I have relatives coming into town next week. And my own health issues are a constant. Of course, there’s always laundry, groceries, house cleaning, disabled cars, weddings, birthdays, funerals, hospital visits, church meetings, cooking, etc.
Despite all this, I’m determined to squeeze in a couple of good things like watching a movie with my husband, riding my bike, reading a magazine, praying, calling a friend, writing a note, or studying my bible. Doing this, though, resembles trying to shove one more pair of jeans into a washing machine that already has 20 pair in it. None of them get done well, I get stressed out trying to do it and everything has to be done all over again anyway.
My lament is the big “T”: TIME. Although I’m proud at how often I say “no”, even to little things, there’s never enough T. I remember when I was sitting in the airport waiting to catch my flight to Nashville. I had about an hour and I began to think of all the things I could get done in an hour if I were at home. But in an airport, it’s just T out the window.
I hadn’t heard from Sandi, our resident writer, in quite a while so I wrote to her the other night. I knew the signs and could predict the diagnosis: she was having a severe T deficiency. But I wanted her to know I was thinking about her and that she was missed. Her reply e-mail read like a lament so I asked her if I could copy it here:
I wonder how in the world I'm so swamped when I've signed up to do so little! I'm not writing a book. I'm teaching only one class. I'm not taking a class. I'm just reviewing Greek for my entrance exam. And I'm editing a quarterly magazine, which has been ridiculously complicated this time around.
I spent hours today online answering students' questions and entering grades. My husband was gone 4 days last week, so I was single parenting. On Thu my niece and her hubby fly in for 4 days. Some of my being swamped had to do with losing the motherboard on my computer and shopping, buying, waiting for, and installing everything for the new computer.
Anyway, I'm frustrated with what appears to be the complete inability to get ahead on anything. Part of it was that I had two interns signed up to help me this semester and then both ended up doing their own projects that took so much time they didn't have time to help me. So I was spending time supervising them and getting nothing in return--except two little certificates to a book store...
I know that Life is Happening for everyone. The good thing is that SPS is structured for when LH. Although meeting in person on a weekly or monthly basis might be more motivating, the web site is there all hours of the day and night. It’s never ahead of you or waiting for you to catch up. You can visit it when you’re in Nashville visiting your mother, when you’re over at a friend’s house, or when you’re at work. It meets you where you are. And it waits for you. I am committed to SPS and I will make sure that it is here for you on that day when you’re determined to squeeze in at least one thing for yourself.